I’ve got a seat waiting for you

BALTIMORE (Map, News) - Hi, my name is Lonely Green Seat and I’m located atop Section 386 at Oriole Park at Camden Yards.

It’s been a long time since we’ve hung out, Baltimore. Sure, I get the occasional college student joining me for a Friday night, but it’s not the same as it was a decade ago. It’s been a while since I’ve seen any diehard fans, let alone a meaningful game.

It’s time those streaks come to an end. How does today sound?

I don’t have a calendar, but a pigeon landed on me on Sunday and said, “Yo, Row R, Seat 10, Monday is Memorial Day. I hear the weather’s going to be nice. And I think the Yankees are coming to town. Guess I won’t be sitting on you tomorrow, huh?”

I told the bird I wasn’t sure, even if the next seven games against the Yankees and Red Sox could very well be the turning point for the rest of summer.

I’m either going to get some shade from somebody wearing black and orange, or have to endure the hot sun searing my green paint.

So please, Orioles fans: come sit in me — and the thousands of my green buddies surrounding me.

We’re lonely.

We’re bored.

We’re tired of pigeons dropping by — and leaving droppings.

It only gets worse when those feathered rats with wings leave us and Yankees and Red Sox fans fill the void where you once sat.

We miss you, Orioles fans. Please come home.

From what I understand, a lot of you out there have become pessimistic after 10 straight losing seasons. But a newspaper blew into the upper deck the other day and one of the recent torrential downpours glued the paper to me for a couple of hours.

I saw a quote from Baltimore manger Dave Trembley that made me think:

“There’s still that dilemma out there: ‘Is this team going to snap or crack?’ They’re not. These guys are going to stick together.”

If the manager can be that confident in the team, so can you.

So forget 10 straight losing seasons. My pigeon friend said that after the Yankees play here for three days, I’ll get Thursday to myself before the Boston Red Sox come to town for four games.

Man, do I hate Yankees and Red Sox fans.

They smell different.

They sound weird.

Do me a favor and come sit in me before they do. It’s a lot more fun when the park is full of you guys.

And if the Tampa Bay Rays keep up their pace, come back when they’re in town, too.

I get my fair share of rays as it is, considering I live so close to the sun.

But I guess it could be worse: I could be a seat in the upper deck at Yankee Stadium. A blue jay told me they’re tearing that thing down.

Who knows what happens to seats after they die?

Sean Welsh is the Orioles beat writer for The Examiner. He can be reached at swelsh@baltimoreexaminer.com

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