Dealing with the problem of teenage violence

Comments

 SEE THE LATEST ON THIS STORY

EMAIL STORY

PRINT STORY

83 days ago: Starbucks’ escape from reality vanishing?

90 days ago: Jousting: An age-old tradition is alive and well in the land of pleasant living

94 days ago: Earleigh Heights Fire Company carnival is fun for all

101 days ago: Superstars not needed for family sports fun

108 days ago: The good, the bad, the ugly of sports parents

115 days ago: Curfew would offer no solution for Annapolis crime-fighting

122 days ago: Stressed out? Out of shape? Go for a run

129 days ago: To seniors: Playing it safe is way to enjoy beach week

136 days ago: Baltimore needs to expand its proud lacrosse tradition, advance the sport

» 143 days ago: Dealing with the problem of teenage violence «

BALTIMORE (Map, News) - How should we care for our children? What is the line between encouraging and demanding? How do we push them toward their dreams without pushing them away — or over the edge?

Last week, Lewis Carlton Powell III of Towson became the latest symbol of those unanswerable questions.

Here’s what we know about Powell, from those who knew him well: He was an honor student, accomplished musician and baseball player at the prestigious McDonogh School in Owings Mills. He is 16 years old.

Here's what we don't know about him: everything else.

Powell is charged with the murder of his mother, Donna Rosemarie Campbell-Powell, who worked for Baltimore County. He is charged with the attempted murder of his father, Lewis Carlton Powell.

Charging documents allege that he and his mother got into a fight over his high school grades and that he beat her to death with a baseball bat. Police say he hid the body and later attacked his father with a bat.

Whether or not the allegations are true, families everywhere are again wondering the cause of this type of violence: Is it some unachievable expectations we parents set for our children that send some of them into unfathomable anger? Is it television or the latest video games that suggest a violent answer to their trouble? Is it their music? Their diet? Their friends? Or is it just something that clicks horribly wrong in their heads?

We don't know exactly why some terrible things happen at the hands of children. We do know that they keep happening. Powell is the second Baltimore County teen charged in a family death this year.

In February, Nicholas Waggoner Browning, a Dulaney High School sophomore, was charged with the shooting deaths of his parents, John and Tamara Browning, and his brothers, Gregory, 13, and Benjamin, 11, at their Cockeysville home.

And so we wonder why. Lots of people want to tell us the answer.

A study by some U.S. and Australian scientists published in March focused on a part of a teenager’s brain — the amygdale — that plays a critical role in emotions but does not develop fully until the early 20s. This study indicates that tantrums and other emotional outbursts are correlated to the size and structure of the amygdale. The study further suggests that no amount of parental discipline or other external influences can overcome some teenagers’ aggression and negative emotions born in that part of the brain.

Another study, funded by the Center for Successful Parenting, lays the blame squarely on the violent video games and television shows so readily available. That research reportedly demonstrates that violent media distort children’s perceptions of reality, impair brain function and lead to aggression.

On the other side are studies that dispute physiological development and external factors. Recent research by the American Psychological Association suggests that video games are just the scapegoat in teenage violence and that there is no measurable correlation.

So what's a parent to believe? There is no shortage of studies about teenagers and why they do the things they do. The only indisputable truth is that every child is a work in progress. They have raging hormones, peer pressure, developing bodies and brains and too many demands coming in every direction.

We can can’t control the size of our children’s brains or the chemical reactions of the food they eat. And while we can turn off their televisions, lock away video games and silence their cell phones, there is little chance we will shut them away from the world they live in.

So all we can do — and what we must do — is try to guide them along the way. Children  need to understand that happiness can’t be attained by dressing like Paris Hilton or living like the girls on The Hills. They need to be taught that doing well in school is not the only measure of success. Failing a test does not make one a failure. Losing a game doesn't make a child a loser.

We need to respect our children, even when we are afraid they are making the wrong decisions. We need to give them our ears, even when they refuse to talk to us. They need our time and our undivided attention.

Parents can’t always handle pressure seamlessly and painlessly. But we are equipped — through age and experience — to understand it better than young children.

There is no easy answer to childhood violence. All we can do is try our best to figure out what they need and try to help them. It’s our only hope.

SEE THE LATEST ON THIS STORY

EMAIL STORY

PRINT STORY

83 days ago: Starbucks’ escape from reality vanishing?

90 days ago: Jousting: An age-old tradition is alive and well in the land of pleasant living

94 days ago: Earleigh Heights Fire Company carnival is fun for all

101 days ago: Superstars not needed for family sports fun

108 days ago: The good, the bad, the ugly of sports parents

115 days ago: Curfew would offer no solution for Annapolis crime-fighting

122 days ago: Stressed out? Out of shape? Go for a run

129 days ago: To seniors: Playing it safe is way to enjoy beach week

136 days ago: Baltimore needs to expand its proud lacrosse tradition, advance the sport

» 143 days ago: Dealing with the problem of teenage violence «