Like Dandy Don Meredith used to croon on “Monday Night Football,” “The party's ooooovvvaahhh.” The guy gets the dog, she gets the goldfish. Now what? Do you never see this person, with whom you shared your thoughts, dreams and frozen yogurt, ever again? Is a clean break the best for all? Dan and Joan, who have broken up relationships more times than an audience at a Chris Rock concert, offer their insights.

DAN: How you deal with your ex depends a lot on the history. For example, if the breakup involved tossing clothes, furniture and pianos out the window, chances are the question is moot. What was the nature of the relationship? If it was only physical, no reason to stay connected (since you won't be ... connecting). But if there was a true emotional bond, and perhaps things went south because you couldn't agree on Obama or Hillary, you might want to choose the consolation prize known as “friendship.” But not right away. I've had that experience. "OK, Dan, let's be friends. Can I see you tomorrow, please please please?" Oy Veh! I have friends I don't see/talk to for months. Give a guy some space. Chances are it was that nearly psychotic desire to take over your man’s body and soul that caused the guy to bolt in the first place.

JOAN: During a recent coffee at Starbucks, I asked two divorced women with children, Linda, 40, and Robin, 50, their feelings about maintaining a friendship with their ex’s. Linda, mother of two small sons, feels you should keep a relationship when you have children. “Keep it focused on the children.” Robin agrees. “Basically the kids need both parents no matter what you think about him. It's to the children's benefit to put their feelings before your own. You can't cut the blood.” They also agree that you shouldn't talk badly about the ex in front of the kids.

DAN: For me, that’s a no-brainer. Kids have to come first. But what if there aren’t any kids? As the fourth amigo in that “recent coffee at Starbucks,” I recall Linda’s attitude was to consign the dude to oblivion if there weren’t any children involved. In fact, I don’t believe either Robin or Linda thought men and women could, after such intimacy, just be friends. Here I beg to differ. I have several female friends I seriously dated at one point. I imagine the people in my life as investments — living stocks and bonds in which I have committed huge resources. What, I’m going to just throw that away? The late Julius Westheimer used to say that the only way you can lose money on stocks is to sell. If you hold on to them, you have a pretty good chance of bouncing back. Call it the “Financier’s Guide to Relationships.”

JOAN: Danny, have you lost your heart in your search for the perfect woman? Or have you lost your mind? That's about the coldest, hardest theory I've ever encountered. If you see women as investments, what will you do in a recession, or even worse in a depression? And Linda disagrees with you. She says, "I don't think you can be friends after a relationship. One of you usually wants more than friendship." Robin says she doesn't think you can be friends immediately, that it takes time. I agree with your comment during our Starbucks interview — “It's easier to be friends with a former girlfriend if you are in another relationship at the time. Otherwise there's an empty void.” My ex-beau from Seattle wanted to stay friends, but what would we talk about? Who we're dating? That's awkward.

DAN: Given these comments, I’d say the cold-and-hard folks here are the ones with two X chromosomes. Here’s a man you supposedly loved, shared the essence of yourself, but suddenly, that means nothing. Bye. Adios. See ya, wouldn’t wanna be ya. Truth be told, I believe men are far more sensitive than women because we shield our feelings. We haven’t built up an emotional “callous” the way you ladies have. I think more men would like to stay friends with the women in their lives, but you all convert from Cinderella to ugly stepsister once you’ve decided we’re not the one. That’s cold. That’s hard. But that’s life.

Dan Collins is a terminally single 40-something writer and local PR maven. Joan Allen is a noted matchmaker extraordinaire and author of “Celebrating Single and Getting Love Right: From Stalemate to Soulmate.”