BALTIMORE (Map, News) - For those of you who just can’t get enough of four uber-entitled women, so self-absorbed they’re practically inside-out New Yorkers who go through men like lungs go through oxygen — and you’ve got $299.95 to throw away, the new DVD collector set, which is encased in a “rose velvet photo album” no less, of HBO’s “Sex and the City” can be yours.

HBO Video’s news release lauds “single girls Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha as they experienced the pleasure of sex, the pain of heartbreak and the panacea of friendship,” no doubt followed by the panacea of penicillin.

So what do the authors of this column think about the philosophy of “dating, fashion, friendships and relationships” purported by this show that has forced thousands of husbands/boyfriends to turn to the little 13-inch TV in the basement so they can watch the SportsCenter highlights? And yes, Dan did write the intro for this week’s column.

DAN: I’m reminded of a clip from “Family Guy,” where Brian recalls his attempt to bond with his gay college roommate by watching an episode of “Sex and the City” together. Cue to the two of them tuning in, as we hear the “Sex and the City” theme. Then Brian asks: “Um ... so, it’s about three prostitutes and their mother?” Well said, Brian, well said.

JOAN: I have conflicting views on “Sex and the City.” As a screen-writing professor at Towson University, I believe the show was the fastest half-hour on TV. The writing was brilliant, the acting superb, and the frankness hilarious. I do worry about the message that promiscuity is OK because even if you sleep around a lot, you’ll end up with Mr. Big. That’s not necessarily true.

DAN: Mr. Big (said with sigh of pity). Poor Chris Noth. What were you thinking getting yourself involved in this estrogenfest? Get your cop-action-show butt back to “Law and Order,” pronto. I’ve been forced by female friends to sit through this show, which the Taliban probably utilizes to make its point to recruits about American decadence.

The HBO news release reads, “Strap on the Manolos and grab a Tartini, the party’s isn’t over yet.” As far as I can tell, it’s a show about four women who spend more money than Denmark’s gross national product on shoes and booze, complain about what they’ve got man-wise, what they don’t have man-wise, about each other, about why the world doesn’t recognize how fabulous they are and just give them everything they want in terms of men, shoes and booze. Party isn’t over yet? Please, let it be over. Now.

Of course, not everyone shares my opinion (even though I’m right). Consider the view of Carole Langrall, proprietor of A Garden of Earthly Delights floral design studio in Baltimore and “The International Flower Spy” blogger.

“’Sex and the City’ was a good show because it gave women hope and encouragement with their female friends,” Langrall said. “I was elated that the characters were true friends and never catty or mean to each other the way some women can be toward each other. Take away the clothes, glamour, jobs and city backdrop, you are still left with four smart, successful and supportive women, who would do anything for each other. What more could a girl ask for in a gal pal?

“As far as the sex/relationship stuff, Candice Bushnell, the show’s writer, was on the money. And it was always fun to watch situations you have been through be validated on a show. Most women could relate to at least one of the character’s boyfriends. It was truthful, but funny.”

JOAN: I must admit that some of the scenes and topics made me blush, like the episode on sex toys and the frontal nudity of Samantha’s boyfriend diving into his pool. Mind you, I didn’t turn off the TV. OK, I’m shallow. I watched the show’s last season to see if Charlotte was going to marry the guy with the hairy back and if Carrie was going to run of with Baryshnikov.

This brings up the question — why do Hollywood writers send 30-something women off into the sunset with 50- and 60-something men? Personally, this burns me up. Hoorah for Samantha for dating the young hunk. That’s a good start.

Dan Collins is a terminally single 40-something writer and local PR maven. Joan Allen is a noted matchmaker extraordinaire and author of “Celebrating Single and Getting Love Right: From Stalemate to Soulmate.”