BALTIMORE (Map, News) - Some parents tell me they long for those good old Sunday afternoons with family, planting flowers, taking the dog for a walk in the park or shooting hoops in the driveway.

They have got be kidding.

I cherish my Sunday soccer games, lacrosse tournaments and rec basketball contests. I find no greater joy than watching my children play a sport they enjoy.

Sunday youth sports heat up emotions every year, particularly in the spring when there are more sports and more players competing for limited field space.

Should sports leagues schedule games on Sundays or should one day a week be set aside for church and family time? This is an issue that could benefit from calm discussion and teamwork among those with conflicting opinions.

Coaches of Sunday sports — well, coaches of sports played any days — believe their players should attend all practices and games. Those who are the least flexible coach top teams where the performance of each player affects the entire team. Parents opting for this kind of team are doing so with visions of college scholarships in their heads. Those families really aren’t torn by the Sunday sports issue.

It’s every other tier of sports where coaches need to recognize that children have a variety of activities, and family and religious commitments are part of the balance in their lives. What those coaches need to appreciate is that they will lose strong players and alienate other families unless they establish a system that recognizes other activities and strives to work with families.

And just like the sports leaders, the faith community needs to be more understanding of the difficulty of managing children’s schedules.

Some religious leaders maintain that Sunday sports or other non-religious activities get in the way of the wonderful qualities instilled by regular church attendance. They call on parents to reorder priorities and make church service a nonnegotiable event.

Easier said than done. Such an inflexible attitude — church wins, sports loses — isn’t going to teach children the qualities of fairness and understanding they need. It isn’t going to teach them the meaning of faith, only that their church requires a commitment at a certain hour or a certain day. And it is going to create resentment and drive away the next generation of church-goers.

And parents want to enrich their children’s live in many ways. In the end, they embrace programs — sports, faith and community — that understand their hard decisions and try to work with them, rather than set unattainable standards.

The good news is that there have been some beautiful responses by church leaders over the Sunday sports issue.

Many church leaders have realized that forced attendance — at any age — isn’t how people connect to their faith or manage their Sundays. Children connect with activities because they find meaning and comfort in them.

Some children embrace church because they sing in the choir and establish friendships through music. Some churches have “praise bands” and evening youth events to engage them with activities at flexible times.

A new church near my home includes a basketball court, competitive church leagues and open gym time. They built it and guess what? The children came.

These churches recognize that families can be committed without being regimented.

Hey, they are a lot like the ideal sports team.

We all have many demands on our time. And more and more of us are drawn to activities that offer options.

Sports are not intruders on today’s Sunday life. They have always been there. It’s a traditional National Football League and Major League Baseball day. It became a youth sports day when high schools took priority the rest of the days of the week.

In the end, the notion of family bonding quietly on Sundays is some kind of myth for most families in this country. In my younger days, before Sunday youth sports, I don’t recall family picnics in the park or baking together on Sundays.

Mostly, I watched TV or talked on the phone. And when my family did bond together, it was usually to watch the Redskins or take in a Senators game. Those are the afternoons of my youth I recall most fondly.

Effie Dawson writes about high school and youth sports. Reach her at edawson@baltimoreexaminer.com