In more than 20 years of ministry, I have had the rare privilege to be with families in moments of joyous celebration: weddings, the birth of children, and the renewal of vows after many years of faithfulness. But my pastoral teammates and I also have been called on to be present when it seemed there was only darkness.

We have seen up close and personal the devastating impact of the sexual abuse of children. My wife — and ministry partner — has counseled with hundreds of women who, when they were young, suffered through this soul-damaging experience. For the most part, their abusers were not strangers. They were coaches, teachers, clergy, stepfathers, brothers, their mothers’ boyfriends and close friends of the family. In nearly every case, the abuser was someone well known and liked by the family.

Thankfully, one of our nation's best-known companies has decided to do something to help. Pepsi's 5th Annual International Race to Stop the Silence about child sexual abuse will be held April 13 (8:30 a.m.) at Anacostia Park in Washington (www.stopcsa.org).

Dr. Pamela Pine, founder of Stop the Silence, reminded me that “this silent epidemic is everyone's problem, creating long-lasting and negative impacts on our society and the victims. About 73 percent of prostitutes overall and 95 percent of teen prostitutes were sexually abused before the age of 18, and 32 percent of convicted killers, 60 percent of teenage mothers and 73 percent of runaways were sexually abused as children.”

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This is everyone's problem. It is not just young girls who suffer. The Department of Justice estimates that sexual abuse affects one out of four girls but also impacts one out of six boys.

A few weeks ago, this column suggested that former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer probably is wrestling with a sexual addiction. I have counseled with many men, who have lost control of their lives as a result of the pornographic culture in which we now live.

God is not a prude — sex was his idea — and the Bible gives explicit advice on how to have a great sex life. But it also warns of the destruction of unbridled lust. I have watched as sexual addictions have cost men their self-respect, their jobs, their families, their health and even their lives.

Everyone I have counseled for sexual addiction, whether it manifested itself in serial adultery including prostitution, child sexual abuse or child pornography, was sucked into their unhealthy sexual choices by pornography. In recent years, the explosion of online hard-core porn and the proliferation of sexually explicit (and frequently violent) movies has led many men to become addicts who harm themselves, their wives and, tragically, sometimes even the children in their lives.

Make sure the computer in your home does not become a source of destruction to all you love. It should be located in a very public place, and your spouse should be able to see everywhere you have been. Does your spouse have your passwords? She should. There are many software programs available that screen objectionable material. If you know you have a problem, there are also programs that provide accountability by sending a list of all the sites you have visited to someone who cares about you. Please know that God can and will forgive you. A new life of freedom is possible — but you must get help.

The men who I have counseled felt like there was nowhere to turn. But there are choices. Many churches have started recovery groups based on the 12-step models of Alcoholics Anonymous. They are a great place to start. If contacting a church is too big of a step for you — or if you have a real fear of criminal prosecution — I recommend Sexaholics Anonymous (www.sa.org) at 410-558-4510. Your anonymity will be strictly protected. If you have a loved one who you think has a sexual addiction, you can find help through SAnon at 703-440-1875.

If you love the children in your life, protect them. Decide now to have a porn-free home. The Apostle Paul wrote much of the New Testament, and he said it simply: “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality . . .”

Kevin McGhee is a senior pastor at Bethany Community Church in Laurel and a 1978 graduate of the United States Naval Academy. He can be reached at kmcghee@baltimoreexaminer.com.