CHANGE MY LOCATION
Baltimore's Charm City Roller Girls bring fury to fishnets
SEE THE LATEST ON THIS STORY
Related Topics: BALTIMORE
)
Charm City talks strategy during its impressive victory over Ohio.
BALTIMORE (Map, News) - You wouldn't want to be caught in a dark alley with one of the Charm City Roller Girls. Or, maybe you would.
In hot pants, they whip around a flat track, trading blows and throwing "booty blocks" to get their "jammer" through the "pack" to score points.
More than 80 local women strap on skates, pads and helmets as members of the Charm City Roller Girls' five teams - Night Terrors, Speed Regime, Mobtown Mods, Junkyard Dolls and the All-Stars. Huddled around the flat track, hundreds of fans of all ages with Mohawks, dreadlocks and perms cheered the Charm City Roller Girls at their first bout Sunday at the Fifth Regiment Armory. The best sign of the night read "Kick Her Ass, Hon." But the real star was the prancing hot dog, taunting the crowd by lifting his bun, only then to request a hug or louder cheer.
Commentator Dirty Marty said it best: "If you're ever in a situation and don't know what to do, follow the man in a hot dog suit."
Marty's thoughts throughout the night kept the crowd laughing; "If you're as excited as I am, you've been passing out every few minutes."
We didn't pass out but we did cheer and wince ... and we almost threw an elbow or two.
» Emily: This was your first time at a roller derby. What'd ya think?
» Jessica: I loved it! All of it - the collisions, the crazy names - Pippi Rip Your Stockings was my favorite - and the characters watching the bout.
» Emily: I really like Joy Collision. She's faster than Jamie Lynn Spears on prom night.
» Jessica: Besides their speed and strength, I was impressed by their strategies for passing opponents. And I'm considering hiring the hot dog to follow me around 24 hours a day.
» Emily: I just like the fact they kicked Ohio's ass.
» Jessica: I never knew gold-and-black short shorts could be liberating and have a purpose other than advertising Nair. Let's learn how to skate and join.
» Emily: In order for me to wear short shorts, I'd have to find the blackest, most opaque tights. But let's do it anyway. What would our names be?
» Jessica: The Examiner Hammer, The Hard-Hitting Journalist, Paper Watch-Your-Back Writer, Paper Tigress, The Poised Pounderer, Running With Scissors, Hangnail, Empress of Anger, Joan of Ass-Kicking, Pan, Push and Pound ... I could go on.
» Emily: I think we have enough.
Let us know what your skating name would be at panandpraise@baltimore_examiner.com.
Comments from Examiner Readers
5:04 PM MST on Thu., Feb. 21, 2008 re: "Baltimore's Charm City Roller Girls bring fury to fishnets"
Report as inappropriate
1:07 PM MST on Wed., Feb. 20, 2008
re: "Baltimore's Charm City Roller Girls bring fury to fishnets"
Report as inappropriate
4:00 PM MST on Tue., Feb. 19, 2008
re: "Baltimore's Charm City Roller Girls bring fury to fishnets"
Report as inappropriate
Anne said:
WOW--Lighten up "Examiner Reader" Lemme guess? Your over sixty? Your Mean? You have wayyyyy too much time on your hands? Goodness, it was a fun local event.
31 agree | 44 disagree
Vote on this comment: I agree or I disagree
Examiner Reader said:
I'm now stupider after reading this piece of garbage. This is the worst fourth grade book report I've ever read. Did you get a smiley face sticker for your efforts?
39 agree | 38 disagree
Vote on this comment: I agree or I disagree
Examiner Reader said:
I may be mistaken but aren't those Charm City Roller uniforms the same uniform that cop "dude" who hassled the skateboader was wearing.
35 agree | 36 disagree
Vote on this comment: I agree or I disagree