Some biblical commands are a lot easier to obey than others. I haven’t had much trouble in recent days overcoming the temptation to crave graven images. But try this one out for just one day: “Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.”

My grandfather said about the same thing. “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all,” he often said. Had I heeded his advice, my junior high years would have been almost silent.

I flunked the biblical test for offering up only good and helpful speech again the other day. My stumble came right after I received a letter from the state of New Jersey. When our daughter was passing through one of the Garden State’s many tollbooths, her E-ZPass didn’t register. So I received a stern letter accusing us of being toll-dodging miscreants and demanding a $25 fine in addition to the 35-cent toll that had not been electronically collected. I sent our friends in New Jersey a polite letter explaining that my daughter had a functional E-ZPass device — it worked at other booths in New Jersey on the very same day — along with a copy of our Maryland E-ZPass statement showing our account in good standing. I expected that to be the end of the matter.

It wasn’t.

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I soon received a second stern letter waiving our fine but demanding a check for the unpaid toll. (DO NOT SEND CASH!) The not-so-friendly New Jersey E-ZPass Administration threatened a late fee of $25 if we didn’t pay up at once. Helpfully, the letter said that if I had questions, I could call a toll-free number. So I did. The phone call went something like this:

“Hello, New Jersey E-ZPass.”

“Hi, this is a Maryland E-ZPass customer with one of your toll violation notices.”

“How may I help you?”

“I sent an earlier letter (with a 41-cent stamp) about your 35-cent toll demonstrating we had a working E-ZPass in the car. Now, you want me to write a check for 35 cents and use a second 41 cent stamp to pay your 35-cent toll? Do I have that about right?”

“Yes, sir. We have no other way to collect from Maryland drivers.”

My reply didn’t fully meet the biblical standard of good, helpful and encouraging.

There is more than a little irony in my venting a bit of wrath on an undeserving toll collector. In more than 20 years of providing pastoral counseling to married couples, I have often talked about “the tollbooth syndrome.” A couple can be driving along having a heated argument, but then pull into a toll booth and wish the toll collector a kind “Good morning.” Often we are harshest to those we love the most but somehow find a way to be nice to strangers.

In my case, I can be rude to strangers and people I care about deeply as well. The nice lady on the phone lives in a state where some of its loyal citizens have to enforce all sorts of dumb laws. In New Jersey, you aren’t even allowed to pump your own gas as the service station. I wish I had been more kind to her. I am sure she deserved better.

I hope someone out there will pass this column to the nice young lady who was just doing her job collecting that 35 cents, and tell her I am sorry I was rude. My 35-cent check is in the mail.