453 days ago - The most esteemed journalists of America are telling us that John Edwards, former candidate for president of the United States, had sex with a woman not precisely his wife. These esteemed journalists discovered this, it turns out, by reading the National Enquirer, a publication previously famous for such headlines as “Half-Man, Half-Lizard.” Naturally, I wish to learn the details of this story, as Edwards plays such an important role in all our lives since dropping out of the race roughly six months ago.