25 days ago - Private Pyle just couldn’t handle it anymore. He had been through so much already, and with results being far outpaced by insults, and with his motivation waning, he was ready to pack it in. You remember Private Pyle, don’t you? You remember when he climbed to the top of a giant obstacle during basic training in “Full Metal Jacket,” but was too afraid to step over and go down the other side? Me too. Like it opened yesterday. Well let’s recreate the scene, shall we?
32 days ago - It does not take a battle-hardened 30-year veteran of an urban police force to recognize that street violence perpetrated by young gangbangers and wannabes remains a serious, ongoing problem in American cities. Sure, the names may be different than some of the groups that terrorized inner city landscapes in the 1980s and 90s, and the methods may have evolved (or more appropriately, devolved) over time, but make no mistake: Street gangs are alive and well, and still on the radar of many of the professional athletes and entertainers that supposedly “escaped” their violent origins.
39 days ago - Long have I served as an unpaid and unsolicited advisor to MLB general managers, and when it comes to the possibility of offering employment to one Barry Lamar Bonds, loudly have I screamed, “Run like the wind!” if Barry or his agent so much as text messages a note of inquiry as to the potential availability of a roster spot this season. Yet here I sit in mid-July, befuddled by the realization that I’ve changed my mind.
46 days ago - Former A’s All-Star Jose Canseco gave new meaning to the term “Bash Brother” Saturday night in Atlantic City, because he got bashed, brother. In his never-ending quest to find new ways in which to humiliate himself, the steroid-abuser-turned-whistle-blower turned up in a boxing ring after issuing an open challenge to any former athlete to fight him for $5,000. Unfortunately for Jose, former Philadelphia Eagles return specialist Vai Sikahema is also known as former amateur Golden Gloves boxer Vai Sikahema — and he does not like Jose.
53 days ago - I’m still scratching my head over the reaction to the Baron Davis-to-the-Clippers news last week. How on earth could anyone in Warrior-land be surprised by Davis’ decision to bolt? After all, when Don Nelson is shown on national television actually packing Davis’ suitcase for him during the final two timeouts in Golden State’s second-to-last game of the season against Phoenix, it should have been something of a hint, right?
60 days ago - Before we begin, please allow me apologize for channeling my inner Barack Obama today. I won’t be reversing myself on the crucial issues of NAFTA, campaign finance spending limits, or the FISA bill, as the duplicitous Democratic candidate for president has done, but I am indeed prepared to join the Senator in the ranks of great “flip-floppers” of our time with my new-found position on the issue of NBA eligibility.
67 days ago - ‘We are aware that Javon Walker was the victim of a robbery,” the Raiders declared last week. “We have been told that he will make a full recovery in the near future and resume his preparation for the 2008 NFL season.”
74 days ago - "Officer Flaherty, the clerk inside was terrified and unable to give any kind of positive description, so we have no suspects in the robbery of the gas station yet. But we’re in luck!”
89 days ago - Boy, you’ve really got to hand it to the marketing gurus over at ESPN. The promos for the NBA Finals are underway, and to say they’ve given a new meaning to the word “hyperbole” would be a massive understatement.
96 days ago - A full decade has now passed since the Arizona Cardinals used their seventh-round draft pick, the 226th choice overall in the 1998 NFL draft, on an undersized linebacker from Arizona State by the name of Pat Tillman. Standing just 5-foot-11, Tillman was given little chance of making the Cardinals’ roster as a linebacker, and he willingly moved over to safety to maximize his abilities and increase his chances of sticking in the league.
103 days ago - As he rides off into the sunset after retiring as the managing general partner and club president of the Giants, Peter Magowan will be missed by many, and his significant contributions to Bay Area baseball will be duly noted. Having said that, as his horse disappears over the ridge and into the dusk, let me now say this: One down — and many, many more to go.